Keller's Thoughts
by AlexaGeorge
Summary: This is a story I wrote a long time age, but it wouldn't let me post. Takes place right after Keller tells Ronan that she's interested in someone else. McKeller. First SGA fic!


I was bored, so I decided to write this as a McKeller shipper. Takes place after TLT. Hope you like it!

Spoilers: The Lost Tribe, The Shrine, Trio, Quorentine, and maybe some other stuff

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis. If I did, Carson never would have died, and they wouldn't have cancelled the show. And I wouldn't be writing this fic.

Jennifer felt horrible. She had known that she would have to do it sometime. But it hurt to know that she had hurt Ronan. But she just wasn't interested in him that way! He was more like a big brother to her than anything else. But of course he just had to fall in love with her. But as they say, you can't choose who you love. Just like she hadn't chosen to fall in love with McKay.

The second she thought his name her thoughts turned away from Ronan. Why had she fallen in love with McKay? How had that happened? It had started when she had asked him to get a drink with her. Back then she had thought that she really liked Ronan. She had originally just asked McKay to be nice, but they'd had a great time. That night she'd been happier than she'd been in a long time.

Then there was the whole thing with Sheppard going into the future. Ever since he'd come back he'd been giving them both strange looks, like he knew something they didn't. Which he probably did. Then when the building collapsed she'd found that instead of thinking of Ronan, or even Colonel Sheppard and Lorne, she'd been praying that Rodney would be alright. When she'd looked back on it she had denied having any feelings for him at all. She'd brushed it off as worrying about a friend.

Then Rodney started losing his memory. He'd been talking to a video recorder to see what he could remember. And he'd told her he loved her. She'd been shocked that he felt that way, and was even more shocked that every time she heard that she felt...happy...excited...loving. But she still wasn't sure. And she didn't even know if he'd really meant it or if it was the parasite talking. But she'd still had lingering feelings for Ronan.

But earlier today when Ronan was protecting her on the ship, she'd realized three things. One: Ronan was in love with her. Two: She didn't feel the same way. Three: She was in love with Dr. Meredith Rodney McKay.

Just then she was jarred out of her thoughts by walking into someone. She fell backwords and looked up. "Speak of the devil" she muttered. Standing in front of her was Rodney.

"Hey, watch where you're...Oh, Jen, it's you." McKay held out a hand to pull her up. She looked at his hand shocked and then reached out to grab it. McKay wasn't normally much of a gentleman. Then again he usually acted different around her. She felt hope rise into her at that thought, and then felt her cheeks burn.

"Sorry about that. I should have been paying more attention." she told him. He looked like he was about to argue, then looked closely at her face.

"Are you alright? You look upset."

"Oh, it's nothing." she answered quickly. He looked unconvinced. She sighed.

"I just...had to let down an...admirer of mine." At that he looked at her with even more interest than before.

"And who might this admirer be?"

"Oh, a friend."

"You know you can tell me about it." She looked into his face and something made her decide to just tell him everything. So she did. The "moment" in quorentine. The sparring lessons. On the ship. Telling Ronan that she wasn't interested in him. Minus the part about her liking Rodney. He looked interested the entire time. When she told him about the "almost kiss" he looked uncomfortable and a little upset.

"And then I told him I didn't like him, and he got really upset, and now I feel horrible about it, and then I ran into you." She said finally finishing her story. She looked up and noticed that he had steered her to her quarters. She hadn't even noticed that they'd been walking. She stopped talking and they stood there in silence for a few minutes.

"I'm curious." Rodney finally said. "What exactly did you say to Ronan to let him down?"

"I..." Jennifer paused. Should she tell him? "I..told him I was interested in someone else." She looked at McKay's face carefully. It kept flashing between hopeful, upset, and disappointed. She felt her own hope rise again. Judging by what she'd seen during their talk, if you could call it that, he liked her just as much as she liked him. But should she try to move it forward? She was spared the trouble of thinking about it anymore by McKay.

"Soooo...do I know this guy?" he asked her.

She laughed. "I would hope so!"

"Can you tell me his initials?" So, he wanted to play a guessing game? Alright.

"If I told you that, it would be too obvious!" Jen told him.

"Alright, then, is he a soldier?"

"In a way." He was definately a soldier to her. And a hero.

"Do I know him very well?"

"If you didn't, I'd be ashamed!" He thought for a minute then apparently decided he couldn't think of any other questions.

"Can you tell me who it is?" Jennifer smiled.

"You'll figure it out." Without thinking about it, she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. She turned into her room before he could say anything, but if she had looked behind her she would have seen his cheeks grow red, and his eyes bright and excited.

FIN

Was it good? This is my first Stargate story, so please review! You know, the little blueish purple button down there? Press it! Now! Or I'll sic Ronan on you! Or Carson and his big needles!!!!


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